Old Age

"Anyone can get old. All you have to do is to live long enough." Groucho Marx (American film comedian, 1890-1977)

"In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." Abraham Lincoln (American statesman, 1809-65)

Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start *bragging about it.*telling the truth.*avoiding the question.* Will Rogers (American actor and humorist, 1879-1935)

"Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art." Eleanor Roosevelt (American humanitarian and diplomat, 1884-1962)

"We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing." George Bernard Shaw (Irish dramatist, 1856-1950)

"You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there." George Burns (American comedian, 1896-1996)

The older we get, the fewer things seem *worth waiting in line for.*colorful.*interesting.* Will Rogers (American actor and humorist, 1879-1935)

"The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age." Lucille Ball (American actress, 1911-89)

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is *optional.*awful.*too.* Chili Davis (Jamaican-American baseball player, 1960-)

"You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks." Will Rogers (American actor and humorist, 1879-1935)

Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy *beautician.*teacher.*dog sitter.* Dorothy Parker (American critic and humorist, 1893-1967)

"Age is just a number. It's totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine." Joan Collins (British actress, 1933-)

"We are always the same age inside." Gertrude Stein (American writer, 1874-1946)

"How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?" Satchel Paige (American baseball player, 1906-1982)

"My children are doing me in history now." David Trimble (Northern Irish politician, 1944-)

"To me old age is always fifteen years older than I am." Bernard Baruch (American financier and presidential adviser, 1870-1965)

"The only thing for old age is a brave face, a good tailor, and *comfortable shoes.*a pint of Guinness.*a long walk.* Alan Ayckbourn (English dramatist, 1939-)

"If I'd known I was gonna live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself." Eubie Blake (American ragtime pianist, 1883-1983) on reaching 100

"Old age is the outpatients' department of Purgatory." Lord Hugh Cecil (British Conservative politician and educationist, 1869-1956)

To what do I attribute my longevity? Bad *luck.*hair.*friends.* Quentin Crisp (English writer, 1908-99)

"While there's snow on the roof, it doesn't mean the fire has gone out in the furnace." John G. Diefenbaker (Canadian Progressive Conservative statesman, 1895-1979)

"After the age of 80, you seem to be *having breakfast*on the toilet*making tea* every five minutes." Christopher Fry (English dramatist, 1907-2005)

"It's amazing how much 'mature wisdom' resembles being too tired." Robert Heinlein (American science fiction writer, 1907-88)

"I still go up my 44 stairs two at a time, but that is in hopes of dropping dead at the top." A. E. Housman (English poet, 1859-1936)

"In one old people's home they changed the words of the song to 'When I'm 84' as they considered 64 to be young. I might do that." Paul McCartney (English pop singer and songwriter, 1942-)

"Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you haven't committed." Anthony Powell (English novelist, 1905-2000)

"One should never make one's debut with a scandal. One should reserve that to give an interest to one's old age." Oscar Wilde (Irish dramatist and poet, 1854-1900)