Quotations about the Armed Forces
Using Quotations in a Speech or Text about the Armed Forces
As well as keeping your audience engaged, adding quotations to a speech or a text can significantly enhance its impact and effectiveness. Quotations are useful for explaining complex ideas concisely, much in the same way that analogies are used. Additionally, quotations from experts or celebrities can add credibility to your message.Here are some funny and poignant quotations about the armed forces. If your speech is serious, do not automatically avoid funny quotations as they can often be the most impactful, forcing your audience into the thinking about the hidden analogous message in your selected quotation.
- "Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious." (British actor Peter Ustinov)
- "When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth." (Irish dramatist George Bernard Shaw)
"I don't know what weapons will be used in World War III, but in World War IV people will use sticks and stones." Albert Einstein (German-born theoretical physicist, 1879-1955)
Join the army, meet interesting people and *kill them.*remove their government.*party with them.* anonymous
"Joining the army is a lot like getting married. You do it for all the wrong reasons, but it's still a lifetime commitment." Louie Anderson (American stand-up comedian, 1953-2022)
"I wouldn't join the army. I'd rather live in *a cardboard box*Warrington*solitude* than live with the army." Jeremy Clarkson (English broadcaster, 1960-)
In war, there are no *unwounded soldiers.*second chances.*ugly nurses.* Jose Narosky (Argentine writer, 1930-)
"The army is like a huge machine, but without oil, it's just a bunch of parts clanking together." Elvis Presley (American singer and actor, 1935-1977)
"I don't always know what I'm talking about, but I know I'm right. I was in the Army, you know." anonymous
The Army teaches you discipline, which is useful when you're drunk and have *a credit card.*a venereal disease.*no money.* anonymous
"Joining the military is a great way to learn how to sleep anywhere, anytime, under any condition." anonymous
"Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms." Groucho Marx (American film comedian, 1890-1977)
I joined the Army and it turned out to be a great way to meet other people *who joined the Army.*with issues.*with bad parents.* anonymous
"They say the Army is a family. Yeah, a dysfunctional family that likes to blow things up." anonymous
"The only thing more dangerous than a Marine with a rifle is a Marine with a credit card." anonymous
The Air Force: because sometimes even the Army needs *heroes.*a lift.*a typist.* anonymous
"Join the Navy, see the world, and get in a fistfight with someone from a different culture." anonymous
"The Army is like a giant daycare center for adults. Except instead of finger painting, you get to shoot guns." anonymous
"In the military, they give you a medal for bravery. In the real world, they give you a restraining order." anonymous
The Army: where 'good enough' is *just fine.*not good enough.*the norm.* anonymous
"Join the Army, they said. It'll be fun, they said. They lied." anonymous
"The Army: because some people just can't handle the real world without a boss telling them what to do." anonymous
"Join the army, see with the world, and sweep it." anonymous
We joined the Navy to see the world, And what did we see? We saw *the sea.*a lot seagulls.*the light.* Irving Berlin (American songwriter, 1888-1989)
"Don't talk to me about naval tradition. It's nothing but rum, sodomy, and the lash." Winston Churchill (British Conservative statesman, 1874-1965)
"I can always guarantee that the Irish Citizen Army will fight, but I cannot guarantee that it will be on time." James Connolly (Irish labour leader and nationalist, 1868-1916)
"Fortunately, the army has had much practice at ignoring impossible instructions." Michael Green (English writer, 1927-)
"My parents were very pleased that I was in the army. The fact that I hated it somehow pleased them even more." Barry Humphries (Australian actor and writer, 1934-)
"Haig is brilliant – to the top of his boots." David Lloyd George (British Liberal statesman, 1863-1945)
"Join a Highland regiment, me boy. The kilt is an unrivalled garment for fornication and diarrhoea." John Masters (British writer, 1914-83)
"If these gentlemen had their way, they would soon be asking me to defend the moon against a possible attack from Mars." Lord Salisbury (British Conservative statesman, 1830-1903) talking about his military advisers' tendency to see non-existent threats
"When the military man approaches, the world locks up its *spoons*bars*donkeys* and packs off its womankind." George Bernard Shaw (Irish dramatist, 1856-1950)
"The General was essentially a man of peace, except in his domestic life." Oscar Wilde (Irish dramatist and poet, 1854-1900)
Thinking Template for a Speech or Text on the Armed Forces
Below are 3 funny themes and 3 serious themes related to the armed forces. These have been included to help you identify areas to explore.Funny Themes:
- Military Mishaps: Hilarious Drill Fails and Training Blunders
- Share amusing anecdotes or stories about funny incidents or mishaps during military drills or training exercises.
- Boot Camp Comedy: The Funniest Recruit Moments and Drill Sergeant Antics
- Explore humorous scenarios or interactions between recruits and drill sergeants, discussing funny anecdotes or memorable boot camp experiences.
- Uniform Unpredictability: The Most Entertainingly Awkward Dress Code Dilemmas
- Discuss comical situations or mishaps involving military uniforms, from wardrobe malfunctions to unexpected attire mix-ups.
Serious Themes:
- Defense and Security: Roles, Challenges, and Global Impact
- Explore the roles and responsibilities of armed forces in defense and security, discussing global challenges, missions, and the impact on international relations.
- Military Leadership: Strategies, Ethics, and Command Responsibility
- Discuss leadership principles in the military, including strategies for effective command, ethical considerations, and the responsibility of military leaders.
- Veterans and Valor: Honoring Service, Sacrifice, and Legacy
- Address the contributions of veterans and the valor of armed forces members, discussing their service, sacrifices, and the lasting legacy of military traditions.
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