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Funny Quotations about England

quotations about England

England, part of the United Kingdom, is renowned for its iconic landmarks, literature, music, and global influence. From the bustling streets of London to the serene countryside dotted with picturesque villages, England offers a diverse and vibrant tapestry of experiences. With a rich heritage that spans centuries, England has contributed to the advancement of science, literature, and governance, leaving an indelible mark on the world. In this compilation, we explore the lighter side of England, presenting a collection of funny quotations that touch upon the amusing, eccentric, and sometimes whimsical aspects of English culture. So, prepare to embrace the laughter, embark on a journey through English humour, and discover the lighthearted side of this captivating nation.

Get ready to chuckle as we present a compilation of funny quotations about England. From witty remarks on British eccentricities to humorous reflections on English weather and the quirks of English culture, these quotes offer a lighthearted perspective on the whimsical and comical aspects of life in England.

"In England, there are sixty different religions and only one sauce." Francesco Caracciolo (Italian admiral and revolutionary, 1752-1799)

"The English certainly and fiercely pride themselves in never praising themselves." Wyndham Lewis (British writer, 1882-1957)

"In England, if you commit a crime, the police don't have a gun and you don't have a gun. If you commit a crime, the police will say 'Stop, or I'll say stop again.'" Robin Williams (American actor, 1952-)

"The readiness of the English to apologise for something they haven't done is remarkable." Henry Hitchings (British author, 1974-)

"If an earthquake were to engulf England tomorrow, the English would manage to meet and dine somewhere among the rubble, just to celebrate the event." Douglas Jerrold (English dramatist and journalist, 1803-57)

The English are not happy unless they are *miserable.*at home.*eating.* George Orwell (English novelist, 1903-50)

"Tea to the English is really a picnic indoors." Alice Walker (novelist, 1944-)

"England doesn't have summer, it has continuous autumn with a fortnight's variation here and there." Natasha Pulley (British author, 1988-)

"In the bible, it rained for 40 days and 40 nights – they called it a disaster. In England, we call it summer!" Anon

"What? Sunday morning in an English family and no sausages! God bless my soul, what's the world coming to!" Dorothy Sayers (English crime writer, 1893-1957)

"To eat well in England you should have *breakfast*lunch*dinner* three times a day." W. Somerset Maugham (English novelist, 1874-1965)

"The land of embarrassment and breakfast." Julian Barnes (English novelist, 1946-)

"The biggest difference between England and America is that England has history, while America has geography." Neil Gaiman (English author, 1960-)

"We have really everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language." Oscar Wilde (Irish dramatist and poet, 1854-1900)

"The British do not expect happiness. I had the impression, all the time that I lived there, that they do not want to be happy; they want to be right." Quentin Crisp (English writer, 1908-99)

"There's an accent shift, on average, every 25 miles in England." David Crystal (British linguist, 1941-)

"The difference between America and England is that Americans think 100 years is a long time, while the English think 100 miles is a long way." Marilyn vos Savant (American magazine columnist, 1946-)

"The Englishman who visits Mount Etna will carry his *tea-kettle*wife*sausages* to the top." Ralph Waldo Emerson (American philosopher and poet, 1803-82)

"What other country could possibly have come up with place names like Tooting Bec and Farleigh Wallop, or a game like cricket that goes on for three days and never seems to start?" Bill Bryson (American travel writer, 1951-)

"Boasting about *modesty*sport*themselves* is typical of the English." Anon

"The North, where England tucks its shirt in its underpants." Simon Armitage (English poet, 1963-)

"The English may not like music, but they absolutely love the noise it makes." Thomas Beecham (English conductor, 1879-1961)

"The English like *eccentrics.*dogs.*musicians* They just don't like them living next door." Julian Clary (English comedian, 1959-)

"The country has grown too small for its boots." Claud Cockburn (British writer and journalist, 1904-81)

"Contrary to popular belief, English women do not wear tweed nightgowns." Hermione Gingold (English actress, 1897-1987)

"Even crushed against his brother on The Tube, the average Englishman pretends desperately that he is alone." Germaine Greer (Australian feminist, 1939-)

"The old English belief that if a thing is unpleasant it is automatically good for you." Osbert Lancaster (English writer and cartoonist, 1908-86)

"If an Englishman gets run down by a truck, he apologizes to the truck." Jackie Mason (American comedian, 1931-)

"An Englishman, even if he is alone, forms an orderly queue of one." George Mikes (Hungarian-born writer, 1912-87)

"An Englishman thinks he is moral when he is only uncomfortable." George Bernard Shaw (Irish dramatist, 1856-1950)

"Wensleydale lies between Tuesleydale and Thursleydale." Arthur Smith (English comedian, 1954-)

He is a typical Englishman, always dull and usually *violent.*drunk.* Oscar Wilde (Irish dramatist and poet, 1854-1900)

"You should study the peerage, Gerald. It is the best thing in fiction the English have ever done." Oscar Wilde (Irish dramatist and poet, 1854-1900)

"I like a man to be a clean, strong, upstanding Englishman who can look his gnu in the face and put an ounce of lead in it." P. G. Wodehouse (English-born writer, 1881-1975)

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