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Funny Quotations about Animals and Birds

quotations about animals and birds

Animals and birds inhabit every corner of our planet, from the depths of the oceans to the highest peaks, each species playing a unique role in the delicate balance of ecosystems. They captivate us with their beauty, amaze us with their adaptations, and remind us of the interconnectedness of all living beings. In this compilation, we explore the lighter side of the animal kingdom, presenting a collection of funny quotations that touch upon the amusing, endearing, and sometimes peculiar aspects of our furry, feathered, and scaly friends. So, let's embark on a journey of laughter and discovery as we delve into the whimsical world of animals and birds.

Get ready to roar with laughter and take flight with joy as we present a compilation of funny quotations about animals and birds. The animal kingdom is filled with amusing moments, unexpected behaviours, and hilarious encounters that capture our hearts and bring smiles to our faces. From comical observations about the antics of pets to witty remarks on the quirks and idiosyncrasies of wildlife, these quotes offer a lighthearted perspective on the whimsical and sometimes unpredictable nature of animals and birds.

"I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equal." Winston Churchill (British Conservative statesman, 1874-1965)

An Artificial Intelligence (AI) image of Winston Churchill in the style of Rembrandt

"The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep." Woody Allen (American film director, writer, and actor, 1935-)

An Artificial Intelligence (AI) image of Woody Allen in the style of Pablo Picasso

"Dolphins are really smart. Within a couple of weeks of captivity they can train people to stand by a pool and give them fish." Anon

"Saw a *chameleon*mouse*giraffe* today so I'm assuming it wasn't a very good one." Anon

"You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish." Jerry Seinfeld (American comedian, 1954-)

"Size isn't everything. The whale is endangered, while the ant continues to do just fine." Bill Vaughan (American columnist, 1915-77)

I find that ducks' opinion of me is greatly influenced by whether *I have bread.*it is raining.*I have a shotgun.* Mitch Hedberg (American comedian, 1968-2005)

"What should you do if you see *an endangered animal*a person*a cow* eating an endangered plant?" George Carlin (American comedian, 1937-2008)

"I admit opening an alligator petting zoo was not the best idea, but I told the kids to be careful so there's plenty of blame to go around." Anon

My favorite animal is *steak.*the cow.*the dinosaur.* Fran Lebowitz (American writer, 1946-)

"I take my pet lion to church every Sunday. He has to eat." Marty Pollio (American stand-up comedian, 1955-)

"My friend was attacked by a duck. I yelled 'duck!' to warn him, but it just made it worse." Anon

"One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know." Groucho Marx (American film comedian, 1890-1977)

"Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend." Anon

"In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this." Terry Pratchett (English fantasy writer, 1948-2015)

"Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog." Franklin P. Jones (American businessman, 1887-1929)

"If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them." Anon

"Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later." Mary Bly (American author, 1962-)

"If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way." Mark Twain (American writer, 1835-1910)

"No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish." Kin Hubbard (American cartoonist, 1868-1930)

"The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs." Charles De Gaulle (French army officer and statesman, 1890-1970)

"Cats *choose*like*tolerate* us; we don't own them." Thornton Wilder (American novelist and dramatist, 1897-1975)

"I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically, dogs think humans are nuts." John Steinbeck (American novelist, 1902-68)

"It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog." Mark Twain (American writer, 1835-1910)

"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful." Ann Landers (American advice columnist, 1918-2002)

"You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich." Anon

An Artificial Intelligence (AI) image of Anonymous in the style of Salvador Dali

"If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise." Anon

An Artificial Intelligence (AI) image of Anonymous in the style of Claude Monet

If you want the best seat in the house, you'll have to move *the dog.*the sofa.*to the kitchen.* Anon

"If our dog doesn't like you, we probably won't either." Anon

An Artificial Intelligence (AI) image of Anonymous in the style of Pablo Picasso

"I always wanted a talking dog. I had to settle for a parrot with a drinking problem." Rodney Dangerfield (American comedian, 1921-2004)

"Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels!" Anon

An Artificial Intelligence (AI) image of Anonymous in the style of Claude Monet

"I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers." Ellen DeGeneres (American comedian and actress, 1958-)

"I asked my cat what he thought the meaning of life was. He said, 'Feed me.'" Anon

"I have a horse, a donkey, a goat, and chickens. They all have an equal vote in how we spend our weekends." Oprah Winfrey (American talk-show host, 1954-)

"I love dogs. They're honest, loyal, and they never *ask for money.*lie.*make a mess.* Dogs are like people, only better." David Lee Roth (American rock singer, 1954-)

"I had a terrible childhood. My parents gave me a pet rock. I had to feed it, and it died." Woody Allen (director and actor, 1935-)

"A hen is only an egg's way of making other eggs." Samuel Butler (English novelist, 1835-1902)

"A horse is dangerous at both ends and uncomfortable in the middle." Ian Fleming (English writer, 1908-64)

"No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation." Fran Lebowitz (American writer, 1946-)

"God in His wisdom made the *fly*ant*Earth* and then forgot to tell us why." Ogden Nash (American humorist, 1902-71)

"Four legs good, two legs bad." George Orwell (English novelist, 1903-50)

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