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Funny Quotations about Birth and Pregnancy

quotations about birth and pregnancy

Birth and pregnancy are profound experiences that mark the beginning of a new chapter, filled with anticipation, joy, and the marvels of human reproduction. It is a time of growth, both physically and emotionally, as expectant parents prepare to welcome their bundle of joy into the world. In this compilation, we explore the lighter side of birth and pregnancy, presenting a collection of funny quotations that touch upon the amusing, relatable, and sometimes unexpected aspects of this incredible process. So, prepare to embrace the laughter, celebrate the wonders of life, and embark on a journey of humor and heart as we delve into the whimsical world of birth and pregnancy.

Get ready to chuckle as we present a compilation of funny quotations about birth and pregnancy. While birth and pregnancy are significant and life-altering experiences, there are moments of levity, irony, and relatable humor that arise when navigating the journey to parenthood. From witty remarks on the trials and tribulations of pregnancy to humorous observations on the joys and challenges of childbirth, these quotes offer a lighthearted perspective on the whimsical and often comical aspects of bringing new life into the world.

"24/7. Once you sign on to be a mother, that's the only shift they offer!" Jodi Picoult (American writer, 1966-)

"A child enters your home and for the next twenty years makes so much noise you can hardly stand it. The child departs, leaving the house so silent you think you are going mad." John Andrew Holmes (American poet, 1904-1962)

A father is someone who carries pictures *where his money used to be.*to show his friends.*secretly.* Anon

"Becoming a father is easy enough, but being one can be very rough." Wilhelm Busch (German humorist and poet, 1832-1908)

"Before I got married I had six theories about raising children. Now, I have six children and no theories." John Wilmot (English poet and courtier of King Charles II, 1647-80)

"Congratulations on your new alarm clock!" Anon

Families with babies and families without babies are *sorry for each other.*always right.*never good neighbours.* Ed Howe (American author, 1853-1937)

"Having a new baby is like suddenly getting the world's worst room mate." Anne Lamott (American novelist, 1954-)

"If your baby is "beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps on schedule and burps on demand, an angel all the time", you are the grandma!" Teresa Bloomingdale (American author, 1930-2000)

"Insomnia: A contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents." Shannon Fife (American journalist, 1888-1972)

"Life doesn't get more real than having a newborn at home." Eric Church (American country music singer, 1977-)

"My fingers may be small, but I've got daddy wrapped around them." Anon

"My mother had a great deal of trouble with *me.*gout.*heartburn.* But I think she enjoyed it." Mark Twain (American writer, 1835-1910)

"People who say, they sleep like a baby, usually don't have one." Leo Burke (Canadian wrestler, 1948-)

"The art of being a parent is to sleep when baby is not looking." Anon

"There is only one *pretty child*dodo*phone number* in the world – and every mother has it!" Chinese proverb

"When your first baby drops her pacifier, you sterilize it. When your second baby drops her pacifier, you tell the dog: 'Fetch!'." Bruce Lansky (New Zealand author, 1941-)

"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance." Franklin P. Jones (American businessman, 1887-1929)

"Your home has just been *enlarged*destroyed*painted* by 2 feet. " Anon

"A baby is something you carry inside you for nine months, in your arms for three years, and in your heart until the day you die." Mary Mason (American actress, 1911-1980)

"Pregnancy is a journey that changes you both physically and emotionally, and you'll never be the same person again." Anon

"A baby fills a place in your heart that you never knew was empty." Anon

An Artificial Intelligence (AI) image of Anonymous in the style of Salvador Dali

"The most important thing she'd learned over the years was that there was no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one." Jill Churchill (American author, 1943-)

"Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head." Carol Burnett (American actress, 1933-)

"Giving birth is not a matter of pushing, expelling, or even delivering. It is a matter of letting go and allowing." Anon

An Artificial Intelligence (AI) image of Anonymous in the style of Claude Monet

"The day you were born, you became the reason for your mother's existence." Anon

An Artificial Intelligence (AI) image of Anonymous in the style of Pablo Picasso

"If men had to have babies, they would only ever have one each." Diana (Princess of Wales, 1961-97) while in late pregnancy

"Having a baby is like getting a tattoo on your face. You really need to be certain it's what you want before you commit." Elizabeth Gilbert (American writer, 1969-)

"If men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament." Florynce Kennedy (American lawyer, 1916-2001)

"I didn't 'fall' pregnant! I was bloody well pushed." Kathy Lette (Australian writer, 1958-)

"Having a baby is like trying to push *a grand piano*a cucumber*melon* through a transom." Alice Roosevelt Longworth (American daughter of Theodore Roosevelt, 1884-1980)

"Impotence and sodomy are socially okay, but birth control is flagrantly middle-class." Evelyn Waugh (English novelist, 1903-66)

"I was caesarean born, but not so you'd notice. It's just that when I leave a house I go out through the window." Steven Wright (American comedian, 1955-)

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