Cats and Dogs

"The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat." Ogden Nash (American humorist, 1902-71)

"A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere." Groucho Marx (American film comedian, 1890-1977)

"The cat is such a perfect symbol of beauty and superiority that it seems scarcely possible for any true aesthete and civilised cynic to do other than worship it." H.P. Lovecraft (American author, 1890-1937)

If you take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have on your hands is *a non-working cat.*a devil.*a machine.* Douglas Adams (English science fiction writer, 1952-2001)

"A cat will be your friend, but never your slave." Theophile Gautier (French poet, 1811-1872)

"As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat." Anon

If cats could talk, *they wouldn't.*they'd rule the world.*they'd sing.* Anon

"In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this." Terry Pratchett (English fantasy writer, 1948-2015)

"When Rome burned, the emperor's cats still expected to be fed on time." Seanan McGuire (American author, 1978-)

"Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later." Mary Bly (American author, 1962-)

The phrase 'domestic cat' is *an oxymoron.*funny.*true.* George Will (American political author, 1941-)

"The trouble with sharing one's bed with cats is that they'd rather sleep on you than beside you." Pam Brown (Australian poet, 1948-)

Dogs have owners, cats *have staff.*eat mice.*don't.* Anon

"How we behave toward cats here below determines our status in heaven." Robert A. Heinlein (American science-fiction author, 1907-1988)

"Cats know how to obtain food without labor, shelter without confinement, and love without penalties." W.L. George (English fiction writer, 1882-1926)

"Time spent with cats is never wasted." Sigmund Freud (Austrian psychiatrist, 1856-1939)

"If cats looked like frogs we'd realise what nasty cruel little bastards they are. Style. That's what people remember." Terry Pratchett (English fantasy writer, 1948-2015)

"Cats are independent. They don't listen or come when you call. They stay out all night, and at home they like to be left alone to sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat." Jay Leno (American comedian, 1950-)

"Cats only jump into your lap to check if you are cold enough, yet, to eat." Anne Enright (Irish novelist and short-story writer, 1962-)

"If man could be crossed with a cat it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat." Mark Twain (American writer, 1835-1910)

"Meow" means "woof" in cat. George Carlin (American comedian, 1937-2008)

"A dog desires affection more than *its dinner.*a walk.*a comfortable bed.* Well, almost." Anon

"If you're uncomfortable around my dog, I'm happy to lock you in the other room when you come over." Anon

"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself." Josh Billings (American humorist, 1818-1885)

"Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail." Kinky Friedman (American singer and politician, 1944-)

"A well trained dog will make no attempt to share your lunch. He will just make you feel so guilty that you cannot enjoy it." Helen Thomson (Australian actress, 1978-)

You can trust your dog to guard your house but not your *sandwich.*garage.*family.* Anon

"If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise." Anon

"Nothing in the world is *friendlier*happier*more disgusting* than a wet dog." Anon

"If you want the best seat in the house, you'll have to move the dog." Anon

"Every snack you make, every meal you bake, every bite you take…I'll be watching you." Anon

Dogs are my favorite *people.*pets.*starter course.* Anon

"I don't who care who dies in the movie, as long as the dog lives." Anon

"To his dog, every man is Napoleon; Hence the constant popularity of dogs." Aldous Huxley (English novelist, 1894-1963)

"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." Groucho Marx (American film comedian, 1890-1977)

"A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of." Ogden Nash (American humorist, 1902-71)

"That indefatigable and unsavoury engine of pollution, the dog." John Sparrow (English academic, 1906-92)