Critics and Criticism

"A critic is someone who has a cold heart and a warm pen." Anon

"A critic is a man who knows the way but can't drive the car." Kenneth Tynan (English theatre critic, 1927-80)

"Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it's done, they've seen it done every day, but they're unable to do it themselves." Brendan Behan (Irish dramatist, 1923-64)

"A critic is a man who knows the way but can't find his own house." Anon

A critic is a legless man who teaches *running.*French.*no one.* Channing Pollock (American magician and actor, 1926-2006)

"A critic is a man who has never actually made the meal but insists on telling you how it should taste." Anon

"A critic is someone who knows everything about nothing." Oscar Wilde (Irish dramatist and poet, 1854-1900)

"A critic is someone who comes in after the battle and shoots the wounded." Murray Kempton (American journalist, 1917-97)

"A critic is a man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing." Oscar Wilde (Irish dramatist and poet, 1854-1900)

"A critic is someone who watches a battle from a high place then comes down and shoots the survivors." Anon

"A critic is someone who jumps onto a stage and starts performing without rehearsing." Anon

"A critic is someone who always knows how the movie should have ended." Anon

"A critic is someone who knows what you should have done differently after you've done it." Anon

A critic is someone who has all the answers but *no solutions.*all the wrong questions.*doesn't share them.* Anon

"A critic is someone who can find fault with everything, except themselves." Anon

"Critics search for ages for the wrong word which, to give them credit, they eventually find." Peter Ustinov (British actor, director, and writer, 1921-2004)

"A bad review may spoil your breakfast but you shouldn't allow it to spoil your lunch." Kingsley Amis (English novelist and poet, 1922-95)

"Restaurant critics – even great critics are like very bad lovers. They only come once a year, they don't care if you're not ready, they leave without saying a word and then they tell everyone what you did was wrong." Trevor White (Irish food critic, 1972-)

"There is less in this than meets the eye." Tallulah Bankhead (American actress, 1903-68)

The thankless task of drowning other people's *kittens.*sorrows.*children.* Cyril Connolly (English writer, 1903-74) on reviewing books

"You know who the critics are? The men who have failed in literature and art." Benjamin Disraeli (British Tory statesman and novelist, 1804-81)

"Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a *lamp post*cat*mouse* how it feels about dogs." Christopher Hampton (English dramatist, 1946-)

"When I read something saying I've not done anything as good as Catch-22 I'm tempted to reply, 'Who has?'" Joseph Heller (American novelist, 1923-99)

"I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions – the curtain was up." Groucho Marx (American film comedian, 1890-1977)

"House Beautiful is play lousy." Dorothy Parker (American critic and humorist, 1893-1967)

"Last year I gave several lectures on 'Intelligence and the Appreciation of Music Among Animals'. Today I am going to speak to you about 'Intelligence and the Appreciation of Music Among Critics'. The subject is very similar." Erik Satie (French composer, 1866-1925)

"Never pay any attention to what critics say. A *statue*fund*trap* has never been set up in honour of a critic!" Jean Sibelius (Finnish composer, 1865-1957)

"I never read a book before reviewing it; it prejudices a man so." Sydney Smith (English clergyman and essayist, 1771-1845)