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Funny Quotations about Foreigners

quotations about foreigners

Ahh, foreigners! They're just like us, only...completely different. From their indecipherable languages to their perplexing customs, the marvel of international travel lies in the endless opportunity to embarrass oneself. Or, for the less adventurous, there's always the option to stay at home and make fun of them from a safe distance.

Throughout the ages, humorists, philosophers, and the occasional bartender have opined on the subject of "foreignness." So, whether you've accidentally ordered sheep's eyeballs in a foreign restaurant, driven on the wrong side of the road, or attempted to use chopsticks with your left hand, these quotations are for you. They remind us that we're all foreigners in someone else's land – and that's a ripe ground for comedy.

But remember, while we may chuckle at these quips, they are merely playful jests. Our shared humanity transcends national boundaries, and our differences make us all the more interesting. So, let's laugh with each other, not at each other. Now, fasten your seatbelts, ensure your tray tables are in the upright position, and prepare for a whirlwind journey around the quotations.

"The best thing I know between France and England is the sea." Douglas Jerrold (English dramatist and journalist, 1803-57)

"Germany is so perfectly situated that the most desirable neighbors are next door." Mark Twain (American writer, 1835-1910)

AI image of Mark Twain in the style of Salvador Dali

"The trouble with the French is that they don't have a word for entrepreneur." George W. Bush (American Republican statesman, 1946-)

"In Italy for 30 years, they had warfare, murder, and bloodshed. They produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had 500 years of democracy and peace. What did that produce? The cuckoo clock." Orson Welles (American actor, 1915-85)

You can't run a world-class winery with people who've learned to make wine *by drinking it.*from the Germans.*from their mothers.* Gianfranco Soldera (Italian winemaker, 1937-2019)

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion." Norman Schwartzkopf (American general, 1934-2012)

How can anyone govern a nation that has two hundred and forty-six *different kinds of cheese?*counties?*castles?* Charles de Gaulle (French soldier and statesman, 1890-1970)

I love Italians. They are so passionate and *heartless.*fanatical about pizza.*funny.* Sir Derek Jacobi (English actor, 1938-)

"When God finished the world, he saw it was perfect. So, to have something to laugh at, he created the French." Friedrich Hebbel (German poet, 1813-1863)

"The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers." Dave Barry (American author, 1947-)

"We can stand affliction better than we can prosperity, for in prosperity we forget God." Dwight L. Moody (American publisher, 1837-1899)

"I just love the French. They *taste*don't*smell* like chicken!" Hannibal Lecter (fictional cannibal doctor created by the novelist Thomas Harris)

"The whole of Italy is a vast museum of very dangerous hat-stands." Edith Wharton (American novelist, 1862-1937)

"Frenchmen have an unlimited capacity for gallantry and indulge it on every occasion." Moliere (French playwright, 1622-1673)

"Germany is a country where the supermarkets have a wider variety of sausages than the zoos do of animals." Anon

AI image of Anonymous in the style of Salvador Dali

"In Paris, they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language." Mark Twain (American writer, 1835-1910)

"The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think it's their fault." Henry Kissinger (American politician, 1923-)

"The French are true romantics. They feel the only difference between a man of forty and one of seventy is thirty years of experience." Maurice Chevalier (French actor, 1888-1972)

"I asked my Italian barber if Italy would win the World Cup. He said 'Before or after lunch?'" Spike Milligan (Irish comedian, 1918-2002)

"I adore Germany. Apart from the sausages, which are really annoying." Paul McCartney (English pop singer and songwriter, 1942-)

"I design coastlines. I got an award for Norway." Douglas Adams (English science fiction writer, 1952-2001)

"When it comes to cliches, the Germans are extremely diligent, efficient and disciplined about living up to them." Rainer Erlinger (German physician and lawyer, 1965-)

"It's like the Beatles coming together again - let's hope they don't go on a world tour." Matt Frei (British journalist, 1963-) on the reunification of Germany

"I find it hard to say, because when I was there it seemed to be shut." Clement Freud (English politician, 1924-2009) on being asked about New Zealand

"Miles of cornfields, and ballet in the evening." Alan Hackney (English novelist, 1924-2009) talking about Russia

"There's only two things I hate in this world. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures and the Dutch." Mike Myers (Canadian actor, 1963-)

"England and America are two countries divided by a common language." George Bernard Shaw (Irish dramatist, 1856-1950)

AI image of George Bernard Shaw in the style of Claude Monet

"I don't like Norwegians at all. The sun never sets, the bar never opens, and the whole country smells of kippers." Evelyn Waugh (English novelist, 1903-66)

"I don't like Switzerland: it has produced nothing but theologians and waiters." Oscar Wilde (Irish dramatist and poet, 1854-1900)

AI image of Oscar Wilde in the style of Claude Monet

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