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Funny Quotations about Golf

quotations about golf

Welcome to the timeless and elegant world of golf, where green fairways, perfectly manicured landscapes, and a quest for precision converge. Golf is a sport that combines skill, strategy, and a touch of finesse, captivating players and spectators alike. From tee-offs to putting, golf offers a unique blend of athleticism, mental focus, and camaraderie. In this compilation, we explore the lighter side of golf, presenting a collection of funny quotations that capture the amusing, relatable, and sometimes exasperating moments that come with chasing that elusive little white ball. So, grab your clubs, step onto the tee, and get ready for a swing of laughter as we delve into the humorous side of the game of golf.

Fore! Get ready for a hole-in-one of laughter as we present a compilation of funny quotations about golf. While golf may be a sport of precision and grace, it's also filled with humorous moments, unexpected mishaps, and relatable experiences that players of all skill levels can appreciate. From comical anecdotes about missed putts and wild swings to witty observations on the idiosyncrasies of golfing etiquette and the love-hate relationship with this beloved sport, these quotes will have you chuckling on the fairway.

"Golf is a good walk spoiled." Mark Twain (American writer, 1835-1910)

Golf is a game invented by the same people who *think music comes out of a bagpipe.*eat fried Mars bars.*invented the television.* Lee Trevino (American golfer, 1939-)

"If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf." Bob Hope (American comedian, 1903-2003)

Golf is a game that is played on a five-inch course – the *distance between your ears.*size of your manhood.*distance you move the ball from the tree root.* Bobby Jones (American golfer, 1902-1971)

"Golf is a game in which you yell 'fore', shoot six, and write down five." Paul Harvey (American radio broadcaster, 1918-2009)

I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up *sliced.*trumps.*tinned.* Lee Trevino (American golfer, 1939-)

"The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing." Phyllis Diller (American actress, 1917-2012)

"Golf is a game where the ball always lies poorly, and the player always lies well." Anon

"Golf is a game where the only thing you have in common with your opponents is an irrational love of an arbitrary number." Anon

Golf is the adult version of *an Easter egg hunt.*hide and seek.*kiss chase.* Anon

"Golf is a game where you chase a little white ball around a big green field and then try to kill it." Anon

"Golf is a lot like taxes. You drive hard to get to the green, and then you wind up in the hole." Anon

"Drink and debauchery." Lord Castlerosse (1891-1943) replying to "What is your handicap?"

Golf is a game where you can cheat and call yourself *an honest person.*a taxi.*a master.* Anon

"Golf is a game where the ball always lands where the least amount of fun is." Anon

"Golf is the only sport where you can be an athlete and a retiree at the same time." Anon

One who has to shout 'Fore' when he *putts.*is near.*lets go of his club.* Michael Green (English writer, 1927-) defining a coarse golfer

"I consider it unsportsmanlike to hit a sitting ball." Ernest Hornung (English novelist, 1866-1921) on why he disliked golf

"The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf – it's almost a law." H. G. Wells (English novelist, 1866-1946)

"The least thing upset him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterflies in the adjoining meadows." P. G. Wodehouse (English writer, 1881-1975)

"Golf is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge that only God is watching him, and play his ball where it lies, is the man who will serve you faithfully and well." P. G. Wodehouse (English writer, 1881-1975)

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