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Funny Quotations about Judges

quotations about judges

Judges hold a crucial role in legal systems around the world, presiding over courts, interpreting laws, and ensuring fair and impartial adjudication. They possess the responsibility of upholding the principles of justice, applying the law, and making important judgments that can shape lives and societies. In this compilation, we explore the lighter side of judges, presenting a collection of funny quotations that touch upon the amusing, quirky, and sometimes unexpected aspects of their esteemed position. So, don your judicial robes, embrace the gavel, and join us as we navigate the whimsical world of judges with a smile.

Get ready to laugh as we present a compilation of funny quotations about judges. While judges embody the seriousness and solemnity of the legal system, there are moments of levity, irony, and playful observation that arise when exploring the world of judiciary. From witty remarks on the idiosyncrasies of courtroom proceedings to humorous reflections on the quirks and wisdom of judges themselves, these quotes offer a lighthearted perspective on the whimsical and often comical aspects of the judicial realm.

"As God is my judge, I am innocent."
"He isn't. I am. You're not!" Lord Birkett (English barrister and judge, 1883-1962)

"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury." Groucho Marx (American film comedian, 1890-1977)

"Judge: a law student who marks his own papers." H. L. Mencken (American journalist and literary critic, 1880-1956)

"Some people try to get out of jury duty by lying. You don't have to lie. Tell the judge the truth. Tell him you'd make a terrific juror because you can spot guilty people." George Carlin (American comedian, 1937-2008)

Judge: "Miss West, are you trying to show contempt for this court?"
Mae West: "On the contrary, your honor, I was doin' my best to conceal it." Mae West (American actress, 1892-1980)

Fletcher: "Your honor, I object!"
Judge: "Why?"
Fletcher: "Because it's devastating to my case!"
Judge: "Overruled."
Fletcher: "Good call!" Jim Carey (Canadian-American actor, 1962-) as Fletcher in "Liar Liar"

"I don't want to know what the law is. I want to know who the judge is." Roy M. Cohn (American lawyer, 1927-86)

"Did you mail that cheque to the judge?" Roy M. Cohn (American lawyer, 1927-86)

"Yes, I could have been a judge, but I never had the Latin, never had the Latin for the judging – and so I became a miner instead." Peter Cook (English satirist and actor, 1937-95)

"She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook." Tommy Manville (American socialite, 1894-1967)

"I always feel that there should be some comfort derived from any question from the bench. It is clear proof that the inquiring Justice is not asleep." Robert H. Jackson (American lawyer and judge, 1892-1954)

Judge: "I have read your case, Mr Smith, and I am no wiser now than I was when I started."
Smith: "Possibly not, my Lord, but far better informed." F. E. Smith (British Conservative politician and lawyer, 1872-1930)

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