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Funny Quotations about Management

quotations about management

Management, the art and science of coordinating people, resources, and goals, is a cornerstone of successful organizations. It involves planning, organizing, directing, and controlling efforts to achieve objectives effectively and efficiently. Whether it's managing a multinational corporation, a small business, a non-profit organization, or even one's personal affairs, management skills play a crucial role. The following collection of quotations offers a plethora of insights into the world of management. Drawn from seasoned managers who have led successful enterprises, scholars who have studied management principles, and thought leaders who have redefined management paradigms, these quotations delve into the essence of good management. They touch on themes like leadership, decision-making, teamwork, strategy, and change management. These witty quotations invite you to ponder the characteristics of effective management, the challenges it presents, and the impact it has on organizations and individuals alike. Whether you're a seasoned manager, an aspiring leader, a business student, or simply someone interested in understanding how organizations function, these funny quotations provide valuable perspectives on the complex and critical field of management.

"Don't say yes until I finish talking!" Darryl F. Zanuck (American film producer, 1902-79)

Assistant heads must *roll!*meet before the meeting.*fix it afterwards.* Anon (commonly cited solution to management problems)

"I don't always *delegate,*complain,*take the blame,* but when I do, I make sure it's someone else's problem." Anon

"The difference between a boss and a leader: a boss says 'Go!', a leader says 'Let's go!'" Anon

Management is like a game of chess – except the pieces are alive, and they're all trying to *checkmate*kiss*buy* you. Anon

"I used to think that being a manager meant I had to have all the answers. Now I know it means I have to know who to ask." Anon

"I'm not a micromanager, I'm a nanomanager. I'm so deep in the details, I'm practically sub-atomic." Anon

"Being a manager is like being a parent, except you can't ground your employees and send them to bed without supper." Anon

"I've been in management for years, and I still haven't figured out how to *clone myself.*take time off.*use the printer.* It's like I'm not even trying." Anon

"I'm not a businessman, I'm a business, man." Jay-Z (American rapper, 1969-)

"I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganizing; and a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion of progress while producing confusion, inefficiency, and demoralization." Anon

"Meetings are a great trap... However, they are indispensable when you don't want to do anything." J. K. Galbraith (Canadian-born American economist, 1908-2006)

"Only the *paranoid*brave*old* survive." Andrew Grove (Hungarian-born American businessman, 1936-)

"The best way to predict the future is to create it." Peter Drucker (Austrian-American author,1909-2005)

"Innovation distinguishes between a leader and a follower." Steve Jobs (American entrepreneur, 1955-2011)

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." Thomas A. Edison (American inventor, 1847-1931)

The secret of getting ahead is getting *started.*cheat at the start.*faking it.* Mark Twain (American writer, 1835-1910)

"It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change." Charles Darwin (English natural historian, 1809-82)

"If you want to achieve greatness, stop asking for permission." Anon

"A good leader takes a little more than his share of the blame, a little less than his share of the credit." Arnold H. Glasow (American businessman, 1905-1998)

"It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends on his not understanding it." Upton Sinclair (American novelist and social reformer, 1878-1968)

Lunch is *for wimps.*at twelve o'clock.*when I get most work done.* Oliver Stone (American film director, 1946-)

"Any committee that is the slightest use is composed of people who are too busy to sit on it for a second longer than they have to." Katharine Whitehorn (English journalist, 1928-)

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