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Quotations about Medicine

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Using Quotations in a Speech or Text about Medicine

As well as keeping your audience engaged, adding quotations to a speech or a text can significantly enhance its impact and effectiveness. Quotations are useful for explaining complex ideas concisely, much in the same way that analogies are used. Additionally, quotations from experts or celebrities can add credibility to your message.

Here are some funny and poignant quotations about medicine. If your speech is serious, do not automatically avoid funny quotations as they can often be the most impactful, forcing your audience into the thinking about the hidden analogous message in your selected quotation.

  • "Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious." (British actor Peter Ustinov)
  • "When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth." (Irish dramatist George Bernard Shaw)
If you are looking to make a fuller speech about medicine, then below this selection of quotations are three funny themes and three serious themes on the topic of medicine that might help trigger some ideas for your speech or text.
quotations about medicine

"The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease." Voltaire (French writer and philosopher, 1694-1778)

"Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine." Lord Byron (English poet, 1788-1824)

"Laughter is the best medicine – unless you're diabetic, then *insulin*crying*chocolate* comes pretty high on the list." Jasper Carrott (English comedian, 1945-)

"Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents." Anon

"My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August." Ronnie Shakes (comedian, 1947-1987)

"I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso." Rita Rudner (American comedienne and writer, 1953-)

"Nineteen percent of doctors say that they'd be able to give their patients a lethal injection. But they also went on to say that the patient would have to be really, really behind on payments." Jay Leno (American comedian, 1950-)

"I'm not feeling very well – I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course." Groucho Marx (American film comedian, 1890-1977)

"I told my doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places." Henny Youngman (American comedian, 1906-98)

"After twelve years of therapy, my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said: 'No hablo ingles.'" Ronnie Shakes (comedian, 1947-1987)

"What's the difference between God and a surgeon? God doesn't think he's a surgeon." Ronnie Shakes (comedian, 1947-1987)

"I'm taking *a rubber hammer*a knife*a coffee* to the doctor's office so it will be a fair fight this time." Anon

"I am dying with the help of too many physicians." Alexander the Great (Greek king, 356–323 BC)

"I was in for ten hours and had 40 pints, beating my previous record by 20 minutes." George Best (Northern Irish footballer, 1946-2005)

"Physician: One on whom we set our hopes when ill, and our dogs when well." Ambrose Bierce (American writer, 1842-1914)

"A fashionable surgeon, like a pelican, can be recognized by the size of his bill." John Chalmers DaCosta (American surgeon, 1863-1933)

"A Harvard medical school study has determined that rectal thermometers are still the best way to tell a baby's *temperature.*name.*age.* Plus, it really teaches the baby who's boss." Tina Fey (American comedian and actress, 1970-)

"A cousin of mine who was a casualty surgeon in Manhattan tells me that he and his colleagues had a one-word nickname for bikers: Donors." Stephen Fry (English comedian, actor, and writer, 1957-)

"A hospital is no place to be sick." Sam Goldwyn (American film producer, 1882-1974)

"If you have a stomach ache, in France you get a suppository, in Germany a health spa, in the United States they cut your stomach open, and in Britain they put you on a waiting list." Michael Mosley (science presenter, 1957-)

"A specialist is a man who knows more and more about less and less." William Mayo (American physician, 1861-1939)

"Cured yesterday of my disease, I died last night of my physician." Matthew Prior (English poet, 1664-1721)

"There would never be any public agreement among doctors if they did not agree to agree on the main point of the doctor being always in the right." George Bernard Shaw (Irish dramatist, 1856-1950)

I can't stand whispering. Every time a doctor whispers in the hospital, next day there's a *funeral.*fight.*thunder storm.*Neil Simon (American dramatist, 1927-)

Thinking Template for a Speech or Text on Medicine

Below are 3 funny themes and 3 serious themes related to medicine. These have been included to help you identify areas to explore.

Funny Themes:

  1. Medical Mishaps: Hilarious Tales from the ER
    • Share amusing stories of medical mishaps or funny anecdotes about quirky patients, doctor-patient interactions, or unexpected diagnoses, highlighting the humor in healthcare chaos.
  2. Doctor Humor: The Funniest Medical Jokes and Puns
    • Highlight some of the funniest medical jokes or puns, showcasing the comedic side of healthcare professionals and the lighter moments in medical practice.
  3. Medical Misnomers: Comical Terms and Treatments
    • Explore humorous anecdotes or comical misunderstandings in medical terminology and treatments, discussing the quirks and laughter in navigating health issues.

Serious Themes:

  1. Advancements in Medicine: Innovations and Impact
    • Discuss recent advancements in medicine and healthcare technologies, addressing their impact on improving patient outcomes, treatments, and quality of life.
  2. Healthcare Challenges: Access, Equity, and Quality
    • Address challenges in healthcare systems worldwide, such as access to healthcare services, disparities in healthcare delivery, and ensuring quality patient care.
  3. Medical Ethics: Principles and Practices
    • Explore ethical considerations in medicine, discussing principles such as patient autonomy, confidentiality, informed consent, and the role of healthcare professionals in ethical decision-making.

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