funny quotation logo

FunnyQuotation.com

menu

Men and Women

Quotations about Men and Women

homethemesMen and Women

The nuanced interplay between the sexes has been a central theme in human discourse since time immemorial. Both men and women, while fundamentally human, exhibit a rich tapestry of differences and similarities that extend beyond the biological. These distinctions span across the realms of psychology, sociology, physiology, and culture, bringing a dynamic and enriching complexity to human existence.

The following collection of quotations endeavours to shed light on these differences, presenting an array of perspectives from various epochs and cultures. They aim to provide insights into the varying experiences, perceptions, and roles of men and women. However, it's important to remember that these quotations are not absolute truths but reflections of individual viewpoints, often influenced by their cultural and historical contexts. While they highlight some differences, they also illuminate our shared humanity and the necessity for understanding, respect, and equality.

quotations about men and women

"The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows that the average man can see much better than he can think." Anon

"If you catch a man, throw him back." Anon

AI image of Anonymous in the style of Salvador Dali

I wouldn't be seen dead with a woman old enough to be my *wife.*mother.*daughter.* Tony Curtis (American actor, 1925-2010)

"Why is it hard for women to find men who are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends." Anon

"A gentleman is one who never swears at his wife when ladies are present." Anon

AI image of Anonymous in the style of Claude Monet

"In passing, also, I would like to say that the first time Adam had a chance, he laid the blame on woman..." Nancy Astor (American-born British Conservative politician, 1879-1964)

"All women dress like their mothers; that is their tragedy. No man ever does. That is his." Alan Bennett (English dramatist and actor, 1934-)

You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little *pot belly and a bald spot.*toy poodle.*bit of self-respect.* Elayne Boosler (American comedian, 1952-)

"Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time, they're gone." Lenny Bruce (American comedian, 1925-66)

"A woman can become a man's friend only in the following stages – first an acquaintance, next a mistress, and only then a friend." Anton Chekhov (Russian dramatist and short-story writer, 1860-1904)

Last year my wife ran off with the fellow next door, and I must admit, I still miss *him.*her.*his lawnmower.* Les Dawson (Englsih comedian, 1934-93)

"Men and women are like parallel universes. They may exist side by side, but their perspectives and thought processes can feel light-years apart." Anon

"Men are like remote controls, always searching for the perfect channel. Meanwhile, women are the living Netflix, offering a wide range of genres and emotional roller coasters." Anon

"Women are like fine wine, maturing with grace and complexity over time. Men, on the other hand, are more like instant ramen, satisfying but lacking in depth." Anon

"Men are like Swiss Army knives, equipped with a variety of tools for every situation. Women, on the other hand, are like multitasking machines, capable of handling multiple tasks simultaneously." Anon

"Men are like balloons, full of hot air and prone to sudden bursts of enthusiasm. Women, on the other hand, are the skilled balloon artists who can create beauty out of chaos." Anon

"Men are like shooting stars, bright and captivating in fleeting moments. Women, on the other hand, are the constellations, timeless and enchanting, guiding us through life's journey." Anon

"The feminist movement seems to have beaten the manners out of men, but I didn't see them put up a lot of resistance." Clarissa Dickson Wright (English chef and broadcaster, 1947-)

"If they ever invent a *vibrator*machine*robot* that can open pickle jars, we've had it." Jeff Green (English comedian, 1964-) on the bleak future facing men

"Women and cats do as they please, and men and dogs might as well relax to it." Robert Heinlein (American science fiction writer, 1907-88)

"A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's; she changes it more often." Oliver Herford (English-born American humorist, 1863-1935)

"Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women." Nicole Hollander (American cartoonist, 1939-)

"No one will ever win the *battle of the sexes.*FA Cup.*election.* There's too much fraternizing with the enemy." Henry Kissinger (American politician, 1923-)

"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes." Jim Carrey (Canadian actor, 1962-)

Why do men like smart women? Because *opposites attract.*they can earn as well.*they can hold a conversation.* Kathy Lette (Australian writer, 1958-)

"Women are brighter than men. That's true, but it should be kept very quiet or it ruins the whole racket." Anita Loos (American writer, 1893-1981)

"Men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them." Jay McInerney (American writer, 1955-)

"A little incompatibility is the spice of life, particularly if he has income and she is pattable." Ogden Nash (American humorist, 1902-71)

"All my life I've loved a womanly woman and admired a manly man, but I never could stand a boily boy." Lord Rosebery (British Liberal statesman, 1847-1929)

"Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him 'Are we going to have sex again?' He said 'Yes, but not with each other'." Rita Rudner (American comedienne and writer, 1953-)

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support and *a little bit of freedom.*to look good.*something stylish.* Jerry Seinfeld (American comedian, 1954-)

Help Us Improve Funny Quotation (#FuQ)

  • Do you know a great quotation that belongs on this page?
  • Do you disagree with our top three?
  • Do you disagree with something else on this page?
  • Have we credited the wrong person with the quotation?

Find Us Quicker!

  • When using a search engine (e.g., Google, Bing), you will find us quicker if you add #FuQ to your search term.