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Funny Quotations about Murder

quotations about murder

Murder is a term that refers to the unlawful act of intentionally causing the death of another human being. It is a serious crime that involves the deliberate and unlawful taking of someone's life. The key element that distinguishes murder from other forms of homicide is the presence of malice aforethought, which means the intent to cause death or serious harm to another person.

Of course, "murder" can sometimes be used metaphorically or euphemistically, particularly in creative or figurative language. In these instances, it may be employed to describe a forceful or dramatic action that does not involve actual physical harm or death. This usage often relies on the exaggerated or symbolic nature of the word to convey intensity or impact. So, let's try not to reflect too much about the seriousness of "murder" as we enjoy this list of witty and thought-provoking quotations about this very dark subject.

"It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets." Voltaire (French writer and philosopher, 1694-1778)

"Religion is excellent stuff for keeping common people quiet. Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich." Napoleon I (French emperor, 1769-1821)

The first thing we do, let's kill all the *lawyers.*beggars.*rich people.* William Shakespeare (English dramatist, 1564-1616)

"Kill one man, and you are a murderer. Kill millions of men, and you are a conqueror. Kill them all, and you are a god." Jean Rostand (French biologist, 1894-1977)

There are many causes I would die for. There is not a single cause I would *kill for.*laugh at.*not pursue.* Mahatma Gandhi (Indian statesman, 1869-1948)

"The time will come when men such as I will look upon the murder of animals as they now look on the murder of men." Leonardo da Vinci (Italian polymath, 1452-1519)

"Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage" Woody Allen (director and actor, 1935-)

"Better the mother of the killer than the mother of the killed." Greek proverb

"I feel a spree coming on – either a shopping spree or a murder spree. I haven't decided yet." Anon

"Don't judge me because I'm quiet. No one plans a murder out loud." Anon

"It's only murder if there's a body; otherwise, it's a missing person." Anon

Murder is always a mistake. One should never do anything that one cannot talk about *after dinner.*with friends.*at Christmas.* Oscar Wilde (Irish dramatist and poet, 1854-1900)

"Text the following message to a random phone: The fat one won't fit in the wood chipper. What should I do?" Anon

"My husband and I never considered divorce...murder sometimes but never divorce." Joyce Brothers (American psychologist, 1927-2013)

"It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets." Voltaire (French writer and philosopher, 1694-1778)

Every murderer is probably somebody's *old friend.*first child.*arch enemy.* Agatha Christie (English writer, 1890-1976)

"Television has brought back murder into the home – where it belongs." Alfred Hitchcock (British-born film director, 1899-1980)

"English law does not permit good persons, as such, to strangle bad persons, as such." T. H. Huxley (English biologist, 1825-95)

"The National Rifle Association says guns don't kill people, people do. But I think the gun helps. Just standing there, going 'bang!' – that's not going to kill too many people." Eddie Izzard (British comedian, 1962-)

"You can always count on a murderer for a fancy prose style." Vladimir Nabokov (Russian novelist, 1899-1977)

"Infamy, infamy, they've all got it in for me!" Talbot Rothwell (English screenwriter, 1916-74) for Julius Caesar in "Carry On Cleo"

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