Musicians

"I don't know anything about music. In my line, you don't have to."

Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.

All music is *folk*our*good* music. I ain't never heard a horse sing a song.

I'm sick to death of people saying we've made 11 albums that sound exactly the same. In fact, we've made 12 albums that sound exactly the same.

Do it again on the next verse, and people think *you meant it.*you're daring.*you're tired.*

To achieve great things, two things are needed: a plan and not quite enough time.

There are two golden rules for an orchestra: start together and finish together. The public doesn't give a damn what goes on in between.

"I've been imitated so well, I've heard people *copy my mistakes.*call themselves Jimi.*buy Jimi wigs.*

It's easy to play any musical instrument: all you have to do is touch the right key at the right time and the instrument will play itself.

Let me be clear about this: I don't have a drug problem; I have a police problem.

When I was a little boy, I told my dad, "When I grow up, I want to be a musician." My dad said: "You can't do both, Son."

Too many pieces of music finish too long after *the end.*the audience has left.*the show.*

There is no doubt that the first requirement for a composer is to be dead.

A musicologist is a man who can read music but can't *hear it.*play it.*joke about it.*

Why do we have to have all these third-rate foreign conductors around – when we have so many second-rate ones of our own?

No wonder Bob Geldof is such an expert on *famine.*time.*the fairer sex.* He's been feeding off 'I Don't Like Mondays' for 30 years.

Tchaikovsky thought of committing suicide for fear of being discovered as a homosexual, but today, if you are a composer and not homosexual, you might as well put a bullet through your head.

"Do you play the guitar with your teeth?" HENDRIX: "No, with my ears."

"Is Ringo the best drummer in the world?" JOHN LENNON: "He's not even the best drummer in the band."