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Funny Quotations about Parents

quotations about parents

Parents, often our first teachers and our lifelong guides, play a pivotal role in shaping us. From the first steps we take to the leaps we make in our personal and professional lives, parents stand as silent pillars of support, nurturing us with unconditional love, imparting wisdom, and setting the foundations for who we become.

This witty collection of quotations on parents offers a heartfelt exploration of the multifaceted role they play. They delve into the joys and challenges of parenthood, the invaluable lessons parents impart, the sacrifices they make, and the indelible impact they leave on our lives. These funny quotations serve as a tribute to the resilience, wisdom, and boundless love that characterize parenthood. Whether you're a parent yourself or looking to appreciate your own parents more deeply, these words will resonate, inspire, and offer a nuanced understanding of the profound journey that is parenthood.

"If your parents never had children, chances are...neither will you." Dick Cavett (American TV presenter, 1936-)

"Parenting tip: Wine" Anon

"90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again." Anon

"If evolution works, how come mothers only have two hands?" Milton Berle (American comedian, 1908-2002)

"You know your life has changed when going to the grocery store by yourself is a vacation." Anon

"I don't want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like my husband." Anon

"75% of every parent's daily calories probably come just from licking knives." Anon

"Having one child makes you a parent. Having two kids makes you a referee." David Frost (English broadcaster and writer, 1939-2013)

"Buying your kid a goldfish is a great way to teach them about responsibility for 24-36 hours." Conan O'Brien (American television host, 1963-)

"Why don't kids understand their nap is not for them, but for us?" Alyson Hannigan (American actress, 1974-)

"All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his." Oscar Wilde (Irish dramatist and poet, 1854-1900)

"Maternity is a matter of fact. Paternity is a matter of opinion." Walter Bagehot (English economist, 1826-77)

"I'm still working. I need the money. Money, I've discovered, is the one thing keeping me in touch with my children." Gyles Brandreth (English writer and broadcaster, 1948-)

"If you have never been hated by your child, you have never been a parent." Bette Davis (American actress, 1908-89)

"Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going." Phyllis Diller (American actress, 1917-2012)

"Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist." Michael Levine

"Your folks are like God because you want to know they're out there and you want them to approve of your life, still you only call them when you're in crisis and need something." Chuck Palahniuk (American writer, 1962-)

"A Jewish man with parents alive is a fifteen-year-old boy – and will remain a fifteen-year-old boy until they die!" Philip Roth (American novelist, 1933-)

"If you must hold yourself up to your children as an object lesson (which is not at all necessary), hold yourself up as a warning and not as an example." George Bernard Shaw (Irish dramatist, 1856-1950)

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