Parties

"A party without cake is just a meeting." Julia Child (American cook, 1912-2004)

"Hear no evil, speak no evil and you'll never be invited to a party." Oscar Wilde (Irish dramatist and poet, 1854-1900)

Never be the first to arrive at a party or the last to go home and never, never be *both.*later.*boring.* David Brown (English industrialist, 1904-1993)

"You *moon*talk to*slap* the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' anymore." Jeff Foxworthy (American actor, 1958-)

"One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor." George Carlin (American comedian, 1937-2008)

The best party I ever went to was the one *I can't remember.*in the garden.*last week.* Anon

"The best parties are the ones where you forget to check your phone for hours." Anon

"At every party there are two kinds of people those who want to go home and those who don't. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other." Ann Landers (American advice columnist, 1918-2002)

"The best way to throw a party is to invite all the guests at the last minute. That way, they don't have any other plans." Mary Wesley (English novelist, 1912-2002)

"The secret of a good party is to invite the *right*wrong*crazy* people." W. Somerset Maugham (English novelist, 1874-1965)

"When I have a party, I always invite my enemies. That way, I know they're not plotting against me." Alfred Hitchcock (British-born film director, 1899-1980)

"If the soup had been as warm as the wine, the wine as old as the fish, and the fish as young as the maid, and the maid as willing as the hostess, it would have been a very good meal." Anon

"Mankind is divisible into two great classes: hosts and guests." Max Beerbohm (English critic, essayist, and caricaturist, 1872-1956)

Thank God for something *warm!*French.*decent.* Benjamin Disraeli (British Tory statesman and novelist, 1804-81) on the arrival of the champagne after a series of poor dishes at a dinner

"A host is like a general: misfortunes often reveal his genius." Horace (Roman poet, 65–8 BC)

"Some people can stay longer in an hour than others can in a week." William Dean Howells (American novelist and critic, 1837-1920)

"At every party there are two kinds of people – those who want to go home and those who don't. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other." Ann Landers (American advice columnist, 1918-2002)

"At a dinner party one should *eat*read*drink* wisely but not too well, and talk well but not too wisely." W. Somerset Maugham (English novelist, 1874-1965)

"I once went to one of those parties where everyone throws their car keys into the middle of the room. I don't know who got my moped but I drove that Peugeot for years." Victoria Wood (British writer and comedienne, 1953-)