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Quotations about Religion


Religion, a profound facet of human civilization, has played a pivotal role in shaping societies, cultures, and individuals throughout history. It offers answers to life's deepest questions, provides moral guidance, and facilitates a sense of community among followers. Religion is a tapestry of beliefs, rituals, and symbols that speak to the human longing for meaning, connection, and transcendence.

This collection of funny quotations offers a diverse exploration of religion from various perspectives. They delve into the essence of faith, the role of religion in society, the commonalities and differences among various belief systems, and the ongoing quest for spiritual understanding. These quotations invite you to reflect on the complexities and nuances of religion, its impact on human lives, and its enduring significance in the world. Whether you are deeply religious, spiritually inclined, or simply curious about the multitude of belief systems, these words will offer insights, provoke contemplation, and foster a deeper understanding of the multifaceted realm of religion.

quotations about religion

"Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich." Napoleon Bonaparte (French military commander, 1769-1821)

"I don't believe in God but I'm very interested in her." Arthur C. Clarke (English science fiction writer, 1917-2008)

"No man ever believes that the Bible means what it says: he is always convinced that it says what he means." George Bernard Shaw (Irish dramatist, 1856-1950)

"Religion is like a blind man looking in a black room for a black cat that isn't there, and finding it." Oscar Wilde (Irish dramatist and poet, 1854-1900)

"The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born." Elayne Boosler (American comedian, 1952-)

"With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion." Steven Weinberg (American theoretical physicist, 1933-2021)

"Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction." Blaise Pascal (French mathematician, 1623-62)

"Where knowledge ends, religion begins." Benjamin Disraeli (British Conservative statesman, 1804-81)

"When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me." Emo Philips (American comedian, 1956-)

"I've come to view Jesus much the way I view Elvis. I love the guy but the fan clubs really freak me out." John Fugelsang (American comedian, 1969-)

"We are punished by our sins, not for them." Elbert Hubbard (American writer, 1859-1915)

"I've a definite sense of spirituality. I want Brooklyn to be christened, but don't know into what religion yet." David Beckham (English footballer, 1975-)

"Gentlemen, I am a Catholic. If you reject me on account of my religion, I shall thank God that He has spared me the indignity of being your representative." Hilaire Belloc (British writer and Liberal politician, 1870-1953)

"We Romans are rich. We've got a lot of gods. We've got a god for everything. The only thing we don't have a god for is premature ejaculation...but I hear that's coming quickly." Mel Brooks (American film director and comic actor, 1926-)

"If Jesus had been killed 20 years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses." Lenny Bruce (American comedian, 1925-66)

"An atheist is a man who has no invisible means of support." John Buchan (Scottish novelist, 1875-1940)

"Thanks to God, I am still an atheist." Luis Bunuel (Spanish film director, 1900-83)

"Atheism is a non-prophet organization." George Carlin (American comedian, 1937-2008)

"The mind cannot absorb what the backside cannot endure." Prince Philip (Duke of Edinburgh 1921-2021) talking about long sermons

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