funny quotation logo

FunnyQuotation.com

menu

the Clergy

Quotations about the Clergy

homethemesthe Clergy

The clergy, as spiritual leaders and shepherds, play an integral role in nurturing the faith of their congregations, providing guidance, comfort, and wisdom, and serving as a bridge between the divine and the human. Whether they are ministers, priests, rabbis, imams, or other religious leaders, their influence extends beyond the pulpit or altar, shaping communities and individual lives alike.

The following compilation of witty quotations provides thoughtful insights into the role, influence, and challenges of the clergy. These quotations come from a wide range of sources - from clergy themselves who have dedicated their lives to spiritual leadership, to laity who have benefited from their guidance, and even observers who cast a critical or analytical eye on religious institutions. They touch upon the duties of the clergy, their spiritual journey, their impact on communities, and the broader dynamics of religious leadership.

These quotations delve into the multifaceted nature of clerical life - its spiritual rewards, its societal impact, its ethical responsibilities, and its personal challenges. Whether you're a member of the clergy, a religious believer, a student of theology, or simply someone interested in understanding the role of spiritual leaders in society, these quotations offer a funny perspective on the clergy's pivotal role in religious life and community building.

quotations about the clergy

"The difference between a clergyman and a cow is that the clergyman only gives milk on Sundays." Abraham Lincoln (American statesman, 1809-65)

The problem with the clergy is that they tend to see everything as a sin except their own *salary.*family.*ways.* Anon

"A good sermon should have a good beginning and a good ending, and they should be as close together as possible." George Burns (American comedian, 1896-1996)

The trouble with the clergy is that they tend to live too near Heaven to *see the faults of Earth.*smell the coffee.*understand real life.* Anon

I have never seen a man who has been able to effectively combine the virtues of the priest and the *politician.*circus clown.*butcher.* Alexis de Tocqueville (French historian and politician, 1805-59)

"The clergy are like men who have been cast into a deep sleep, and when they wake up, they find themselves in a strange world." Voltaire (French writer and philosopher, 1694-1778)

"The clergyman is expected to be a pillar of society, but sometimes he ends up being a post that everyone leans on." Anon

The clergy may preach against sin, but it is the sinners who provide *the audience.*the fun.*the cash.* Anon

"If the aunt of the vicar has never touched liquor, watch out when she finds the Champagne." Rudyard Kipling (English writer and poet, 1865-1936)

"No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off." Alan Bennett (English dramatist and actor, 1934-)

"Christ Jesus left you this sweet key of obedience; for He left His Vicar, whom you are all obliged to obey until death. And whoever is outside his obedience is in a state of damnation." St. Catherine of Siena (Italian saint, 1347-80)

"Conscience is the aboriginal Vicar of Christ." John Henry Newman (English theologian, 1801-1890)

*Nature:*Comedy:*Money:* the vicar of the Almighty Lord. Geoffrey Chaucer (English poet, 1343-1400)

"The Holy Spirit, not the pope, is the vicar of Christ on earth." Adoniram Judson Gordon (American Baptist preacher, 1836-95)

"I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So, I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness." Emo Philips (American comedian, 1956-)

"I don't know if God exists, but it would be better for His reputation if He didn't." Jules Renard (French novelist and dramatist, 1864-1910)

"I never forget a face, but in your case, I'll be glad to make an exception." Groucho Marx (American film comedian, 1890-1977)

A priest is a man who is called Father by everyone except his own children who are obliged to call him *uncle.*mate.*out.* Anon

"As for the British churchman, he goes to church as he goes to the bathroom, with the minimum of fuss and with no explanation if he can help it." Ronald Blythe (English writer, 1922-2023)

"Blessed are the meek my foot! They're all on the climb. Ever heard of meekness stopping a bishop from becoming a bishop?" Maurice Bowra (English scholar and literary critic, 1898-1971)

"I remember the average curate at home as something between a eunuch and a snigger." Ronald Firbank (English novelist, 1886-1926)

"This merriment of parsons is mighty offensive." Samuel Johnson (English poet, critic, and lexicographer, 1709-84)

"And I want to thank you for all the enjoyment you've taken out of it." Groucho Marx (American film comedian, 1890-1977) to a clergyman who thanked him for the enjoyment he'd given the world

"As the *French*angels*satirists* say, there are three sexes – men, women, and clergymen." Sydney Smith (English clergyman and essayist, 1771-1845)

"There is a species of person called a 'Modern Churchman' who draws the full salary of a beneficed clergyman and need not commit himself to any religious belief." Evelyn Waugh (English novelist, 1903-66)

Help Us Improve Funny Quotation (#FuQ)

  • Do you know a great quotation that belongs on this page?
  • Do you disagree with our top three?
  • Do you disagree with something else on this page?
  • Have we credited the wrong person with the quotation?

Find Us Quicker!

  • When using a search engine (e.g., Google, Bing), you will find us quicker if you add #FuQ to your search term.