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Funny Quotations about Time

quotations about time

Time, an enigma wrapped in a riddle, ever flowing, omnipresent, yet somehow elusive. It's a concept we grapple with every day, be it through running late for an appointment, reminiscing about the past, or pondering our future. But amid the philosophical musings and the frantic race against the clock, there's a lighter side to time that's ripe for a hearty laugh.

This collection of amusing quotations offers a humorous take on time and its unending march, from witticisms on time management (or lack thereof) to playful observations about aging and the past, present, and future. Whether you're a serial procrastinator or a punctual perfectionist, these quotes are sure to tickle your funny bone as we explore the lighter side of time's relentless tick-tock. So sit back, take a moment, and let's revel in the hilarity of time, one quote at a time!

"Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana." Attributed to Groucho Marx (American comedian, 1890-1977)

"Yesterday's the past, tomorrow's the future, but today is a gift. That's why it's called the present." Bil Keane (American cartoonist, 1922-2011)

"The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once." Albert Einstein (theoretical physicist, 1879-1955)

"The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time." Bertrand Russell (British philosopher, 1946-)

"If you don't have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over?" John Wooden (American basketball coach, 1910-2010)

"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia." Charles M. Schulz (American cartoonist, 1922-2000)

"Don't wait. The time will never be just right." Napoleon Hill (American author, 1883-1970)

"Punctuality is the virtue of the bored." Evelyn Waugh (English novelist, 1903-66)

"Time is the wisest counselor of all." Pericles (Greek politician, circa 495 BC-429 BC)

"Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so." Douglas Adams (English science fiction writer, 1952-2001)

"I do love deadlines. I love the whooshing sound they make as they go past." Douglas Adams (English science fiction writer, 1952-2001)

"The trouble with being punctual is that there is no one there to appreciate it." Anon

"We've been waiting 700 years, you can have the seven minutes." Michael Collins (Irish revolutionary, 1880-1922) upon being told that he was seven minutes late when arriving at Dublin Castle for the handover by British forces on 16 January 1922.

"Morning comes whether you set the alarm or not." Ursula K. Le Guin (American writer, 1929-)

"Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do." Jean-Paul Sartre (French philosopher, 1905-80)

"Eternity's a terrible thought. I mean, where's it all going to end?" Tom Stoppard (British dramatist, 1937-)

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