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Funny Quotations about War

quotations about war

War, a phenomenon fraught with tension, tragedy, and turmoil, has shaped much of human history. Its heavy gravity has birthed countless tales of heroism, sacrifice, and change. But in the shadow of such seriousness, there exists a less explored avenue - the humourthat often emerges amidst the chaos. This collection of quotations offers a unique and surprising perspective on war, unearthing the satirical, ironic, and downright funny sides that are born out of human resilience and the desire to find light in the darkness.

From witty observations about military tactics to clever insights on the absurdities of conflict, these quotes promise a humor-filled journey through the otherwise grim corridors of warfare. Whether you're a history buff, a soldier, or just someone who appreciates good humor, these quips about war are sure to offer a chuckle, a smirk, and a whole new viewpoint. So, let's march on and explore the humorous frontlines of war, one quotation at a time!

"War does not determine who is right – only who is left." Anon

"War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." Anon

"When the rich wage war, it's the poor who die." Jean-Paul Sartre (French philosopher, 1905-80)

"You must not fight too often with one enemy, or you will teach him all your art of war." Napoleon Bonaparte (French military commander, 1769-1821)

"The more you sweat in peace, the less you bleed in war." Norman Schwarzkopf (American general, 1934-2012)

"The best weapon against an enemy is another enemy." Friedrich Nietzsche (German philosopher, 1844-1900)

"War is only a cowardly escape from the problems of peace." Thomas Mann (German novelist, 1875-1955)

"You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake." Jeannette Rankin (American politician, 1880-1973)

"I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in." George McGovern (American historian, 1922-2012)

"After each war, there is a little less democracy to save." Brooks Atkinson (American journalist and critic, 1894-1984)

"We need a futile gesture at this stage. It will raise the whole tone of the war." Peter Cook (English comedian and actor, 1937-95)

"They found more dangerous chemicals in Coca-Cola's Dasani mineral water than they did in the whole of Iraq." Robin Cook (British Labour politician, 1946-2005)

"Men love war because it allows them to look serious. Because they imagine it is the one thing that stops women laughing at them." John Fowles (English novelist, 1926-2005)

"There never was a good war, or a bad peace." Benjamin Franklin (American politician, inventor, and scientist, 1706-90)

"The Gulf War was like teenage sex. We got in too soon and out too soon." Tom Harkin (American Democratic politician, 1939-)

"Vietnam without the mosquitoes." Carl Hiaasen (American writer, 1953-) talking about the war in Iraq.

"All castles had one major weakness. The enemy used to get in through the gift shop." Peter Kay (British comedian, 1973-)

"The quickest way of ending a war is to lose it." George Orwell (English novelist, 1903-50)

"Retreat, hell! We're only attacking in another direction." Oliver P. Smith (American general, 1893-1977)

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