funny quotation logo

FunnyQuotation.com

menu

Women

Quotations about Women

homethemesWomen

Any woman will tell you that women have an incredible ability to simultaneously manage a career, maintain a social life, keep their hair looking fabulous, and remember every important date on the calendar. Oh, and they can also create life. Here are women's top 5 "superpowers":

Intuition: Women have a powerful intuition that helps them read people and situations, and make decisions based on their gut feeling.
Multitasking: Women are often great at multitasking, juggling multiple responsibilities and tasks at once, and getting things done efficiently.
Resilience: Women have an incredible ability to bounce back from setbacks and adversity, and to keep pushing forward in the face of challenges.
Empathy: Women are often highly empathetic, able to put themselves in other people's shoes and understand their perspectives and feelings.
Collaboration: Women are natural collaborators, able to work well in teams and bring diverse perspectives and ideas to the table to achieve a common goal.

So, if you're looking to use these funny quotations about women against a woman, be mindful of these abilities.

quotations about women

"Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition." Timothy Leary (American psychologist, 1920-96)

"The nightingale will run out of songs before a woman runs out of conversation." Anon

AI image of Anonymous in the style of Salvador Dali

"Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood." Oscar Wilde (Irish dramatist and poet, 1854-1900)

AI image of Oscar Wilde in the style of Salvador Dali

"A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She *changes*cleans*polishes* it more often." Oliver Herford (American humorist, 1863-1935)

"Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee." Anon

"I'm not sure if I'm a strong woman because of my personality or because I haven't had a choice." Dolly Parton (American singer and songwriter, 1946-)

Women are like teabags. You never know how strong they are until you put them *in hot water.*on the spot.*in the cupboard.* Eleanor Roosevelt (American humanitarian and diplomat, 1884-1962)

"I don't know what's better: a single woman with a cat or a married woman without one." Anon

AI image of Anonymous in the style of Claude Monet

"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life." Rita Rudner (American comedienne and writer, 1953-)

"I have yet to *hear a man ask*beg*pay* for advice on how to combine marriage and a career." Gloria Steinem (American journalist, 1934-)

"Women are like parking spots. The good ones are always taken and the rest are handicapped." Anon

"A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction." Oscar Wilde (Irish dramatist and poet, 1854-1900)

AI image of Oscar Wilde in the style of Claude Monet

"I'm not offended by all the dumb-blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb, and I'm not blonde either." Dolly Parton (American singer and songwriter, 1946-)

"A woman's mind is like a browser with too many tabs open." Anon

AI image of Anonymous in the style of Pablo Picasso

Behind every great man is a woman rolling *her eyes.*a cigar.*and rocking.* Jim Carrey (Canadian actor, 1962-)

"Women are like phones: They love to be held, talked to, and touched often. But push the wrong button, and you'll be disconnected." Anon

We women do talk too much, but even then we don't tell *half we know.*tales.*secrets.* Nancy Astor (American-born British Conservative politician, 1879-1964)

"The trouble with women in an orchestra is that if they are attractive it will upset my players and if they're not it will upset me." Thomas Beecham (English conductor, 1879-1961)

"I heard a man say that brigands demand your money or your life, whereas women require both." Samuel Butler (English novelist, 1835-1902)

"A good *uniform*meal*reprimand* must work its way with the women, sooner or later." Charles Dickens (English novelist, 1812-70)

"A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle." Irina Dunn (Australian writer and politician, 1948-)

"Women are like elephants to me; I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one." W. C. Fields (American humorist, 1880-1946)

"She had the loaded handbag of someone who camps out and seldom goes home." Mavis Gallant (Canadian writer, 1922-)

"She who must be obeyed." H. Rider Haggard (English writer, 1856-1925)

"Every woman should have four pets in her life: a mink in her closet, a Jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass who pays for everything." Paris Hilton (American heiress, 1981-)

Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is merely a good excuse not to *play football.*clean the car.*paint the fence.* Fran Lebowitz (American writer, 1946-)

"Women do not find it difficult nowadays to behave like men, but they often find it extremely difficult to behave like gentlemen." Compton Mackenzie (English novelist, 1883-1972)

"You know that look women get when they want to have sex? Me neither." Steve Martin (American comedian, 1945-)

"Though she be but little, she is fierce." William Shakespeare (English dramatist, 1564-1616)

An Artificial Intelligence (AI) image of William Shakespeare in the style of Claude Monet

"The lady doth protest too much, methinks." William Shakespeare (English dramatist, 1564-1616)

An Artificial Intelligence (AI) image of William Shakespeare in the style of Salvador Dali

"A woman seldom writes *her mind*diary*shopping list* but in her postscript." Richard Steele (Irish-born essayist and dramatist, 1672-1729)

"We are becoming the men we wanted to marry." Gloria Steinem (American journalist, 1934-)

"She was a blonde – with a brunette past." Gwyn Thomas (Welsh novelist and dramatist, 1913-81)

Help Us Improve Funny Quotation (#FuQ)

  • Do you know a great quotation that belongs on this page?
  • Do you disagree with our top three?
  • Do you disagree with something else on this page?
  • Have we credited the wrong person with the quotation?

Find Us Quicker!

  • When using a search engine (e.g., Google, Bing), you will find us quicker if you add #FuQ to your search term.